The Beauty of Unanswered Prayers

When we are going through a hard time in our life, it’s easy to turn to God and pray for him to fix whatever is broken. But sometimes those prayers are left unanswered. How should we feel when this happens? Should we feel anger, should we feel alone, should we feel like God has abandoned the promises he made us? Or should we look for the beauty in unanswered prayers?
At 18 I prayed for a license as an optical assistant because I had fallen into a job that paid enough money for a small apartment. I prayed for a car, I prayed for money and acceptance back into my toxic family. I prayed to be a better person because I didn’t like the person in front of me at all. I prayed so hard and felt so alone, and every single prayer was left unanswered. Or so I thought.
I prayed for that job, but God had other plans. He didn’t get me that high paying job that I would have hated, he gave me a break and the opportunity to go back to school. I became pregnant instead and had to leave my position. I felt like a failure, but that failure led me to seek God as I never have before. I felt the call to fall back on the dreams that I thought weren’t possible. That failure and empty prayer lead me to pursue writing. I prayed for something I loved doing, I was gifted with my first published book.
I prayed for a car and money. Instead, I became a young mom living on one paycheck, a paycheck my very scared boyfriend worked ridiculous hours for. So we prayed together for the first time and took some chances. We went from eating Top Ramen to him landing a very stable job at a hospital and being appreciated more than ever. Now we are able to send our kids to school, go on vacations, he is going back to school to pursue his dreams, and I have been so incredibly blessed to be able to stay home with both of our kids.
I prayed to be accepted back into my family. I had just been kicked out and felt like it was because I wasn’t good enough. I wanted so badly for my parents to tell me that I was doing a good job. I just wanted to be loved. God took those tear-soaked prayers and sent them back to me. I was forced to start working on loving myself instead. I got the counseling I needed, I found a church that accepted me and a mentor that made sure I knew I was forgiven. I was sent someone who loved me so well that I was saved from myself.
Unanswered prayers gave me the strength to believe in myself and be someone who felt like they deserved Jesus. Unanswered prayers sent me two beautiful children who make my life better every single day. Unanswered prayers lead to a marriage better than I could ever dreamed possible. Unanswered prayers are the reason for every beautiful thing in my life.

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