A friend breakup is one of the most traumatizing things a person can go through. Even more than a romantic relationship, this bond is one you put a lot of work into. You spend your afternoons with them, you tell them your secrets, you trust them to tell you the truth and help you find your inner self. So when that relationship ends it can make you doubt so much about yourself. Save yourself some of the heartbreak by seeing the signs of a doomed friendship right from the beginning. Here are 10 signs that your brunch buddy will not last a lifetime:
1.) When something big happens, she shares it with Facebook before sharing it with you. Also, when something huge happens in your life she never seems to be excited for you or want to be a part of your success.
2.) You don’t always look forward to hanging out with her. Sometimes spending time together leaves you feeling emotionally drained. This is not the hallmark of a healthy relationship. If things feel forced when you are together that is your gut telling you that this friendship isn’t right for you.
3.) You don’t trust her. Maybe she has told your secrets before or is annoyed by decisions you make. You don’t feel safe telling her things that you need to get off your chest or constantly feel like she is going to judge your choices.
4.) Your lives are in two completely different places. Best friends can get through huge life changes. Babies, marriage, divorce, big promotions. These things bring happiness to people who want to build each other up or create opportunities for you to be there for each other. However, if a big change also changes your relationship in a big way that means your relationship was conditional and circumstantial.
5.) You have no, or little, shared interests. This seems obvious but can be easy to overlook. Sometimes a person is amazing for introducing you to new things, sometimes it can be exhausting because you have to constantly explain things to them instead of sharing it with them.
6.) They want to monopolize your time. If they have a hard time sharing your company or make you feel bad for spending time with your partner, they are going to be toxic in the long run. If a friendship can’t survive with some distance then it was not meant to be.
7.) Other people can see the problems before you do. If you keep hearing how the relationship doesn’t make sense or that you are a better friend than the other person, it may be time to look at yourself and see why you are holding onto a relationship that isn’t good for you.
8.) They don’t care about making you happy. It’s always what they want and what they are going through. If the person doesn’t care to see your struggles and your journey then you can’t share it with them.
9.) They only call you to vent. You become their punching bag for complaints and never get to share in their glories.
10.) When you try to communicate with them to strengthen your bond, they refuse to see your side. Friendships only work when both of you want to put in hard work to make it last. Relationships should be easy in some aspects, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to water the garden.